Mr. Big Dick

Hi everyone!

I just wanted to let you know that I’m back from Italy. I could tell you how nice the trip was and what I did there and stuff like that. I won’t. I’m just writing this post to tell you that Mr. Big Dick is back in town. I’m on my way right now to see how his dick got so big. Maybe I’ll write another post about it or something. (The joke is that Mr. Big Dick is not me. I don’t know if that was clear enough, so I just wanted to make that clear #obviousandselfdeprecatoryhumour)

And yes, I will tell you how my Italy trip was. Don’t worry, of course I’m going to complain about it too! Me and my friend visited Milan, Verona, Venice, Bologna, Florence and Rome. I loved Venice the most. It is a city for intuitive people. Whenever you tried to go somewhere, you got distracted by something, usually a random cool place or a big church. I’m not religious but those catholic churches with ceilings so high such as I have never seen before made me kind of want to become a catholic just to be able to go to those churches and pray. Then I remembered that I would be too lazy to pray, and what I really wanted was to buy the biggest church and install a huge movie theatre screen and watch Netflix in there for ever. I think genuinely religious catholic people would love it if I did that. Totally. I would if I were one of them.

Anyway, here comes my complaint. The tourists. Especially in Venice. I hate them so much and I want them all die. Tourists are a plague that ruins everything cool about anything. Try walking over one of those small bridges over the water canals in Venice and you’ll see that there’s a fucking tourist asshole taking a picture in the middle of that bridge that EVERYBODY crosses. Do they think that ALL the people will simply stop so that they can take their useless picture that they will never look at in the future? Fuck you. Cazzo turisti. That’s fucking tourists in italian. Disclaimer: I used Google Translate so it could be wrong.

Now I’ll go think about idiotic tourists that ruins everything and completely ignore the fact that I was also a tourist while I was there. Bye

Författare: Andreas Blaustein

Funny blogger, depressing author

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