All around me I see people that I grew up with that do ”grown up” things. They study, travel, clean their apartment, exercise, eat healthy. The other day I watched Family Guy and I remembered that all my friends in 5th grade loved that show. I still love Family Guy just as much as back then, but I wondered how many of my 5th grade classmates still loves Family Guy. As I thought about each of them, I came to the realization that probably not many of them do. That makes me depressed and happy at the same time. Happy because they do stuff that make them progress in life. Depressed because I feel like I’ve been stuck at the same place forever. I used to love the fact that I refused to grow up. I still do, but now I feel ashamed of it. Then I get more angry at myself because I feel ashamed of a characteristic of mine that I like.
One of my ways to deal with this is to write. This feeling that I’m describing here is what my current book in progress is all about. That feeling of being stuck. I don’t know, I feel like I’m just rambling at this point. I just thought life would be easier ten years ago and then I met Life and it sucker punched me in my face. Now I’m laying on the concrete bleeding out of my broken nose while everybody walks by.
The loser on the ground wishes you well
Every field that you have chosen to dedicate yourself to has a level of pretention. Something conventional that people only follow because ”it’s the rules”. In writing, that pretention is that everything has to be beautiful, poetic and pure. The ”gritty” books I have read still never or rarely use curse words and only dares to describe sex in a vague but beautiful manner. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if everyone does that, it gets boring.
Only recently did I get my thumb out of my butt and read Post Office by Charles Bukowski. I got the feeling that he attacked writing, every sentence. It was powerful because he simply didn’t care about if he sounded poetic or vocally able. He just did it. Before reading Post Office, I had never or rarely seen the words pussy or cock being used in a novel. I’m not saying that you have to use those words or any words like those, I just think that you can’t be afraid to use words like that if it’s necessary for the book.
There’s a quote by Eminem I would like to pair with the style of Charles Bukowski. Here it is, ”I’m the shit stain on the underwear of life.” A shit stain might be shit, but it’s hard to get rid of and you can not not notice it. So don’t be afraid to be a piece of shit is what I’m saying here. Be the best piece of shit you can be people!
Now fuck off, I’ve got a book to write.
PS! The approach that Charles Bukowski had to writing, that attacking style, I call that the Bukowski Approach. I forgot to mention that in the text. Now you understand the title of this post. Which you probably did anyway, it’s not that hard to understand.