8448 by Andreas Blaustein

Here is my album called 8448. Listen and enjoy! Further down the page you can read more about my vision for 8448.

Technically, this is a political hip hop album but that description is only scratching the surface. It is absolutely influenced by political events but it is not about them. 8448 is about how I feel about the political events. It has left me with feelings like anxiety, hopelessness and fear. I’ve been obsessed of thinking about horrible possible outcomes of the present. Thoughts that has only fed itself up for every passing day. While trying to manage all these thoughts and feelings I also have a job to worry about and, even worse, a regular life to maintain.

None of this has been easy.

There are two books that has helped me better understand the world. Those two books are 1984 by George Orwell and 48 Laws of Power by Robert Green. Just by looking at the titles of those two books I think you can figure out how I got the idea for the title of my album. While working on 8448 I have been able to vent all the rot inside me and transform it into something positive. Something meaningful. Something I know that so many other people also feel.

Andreas Blaustein

Rant Mode: Queuing Up

Hello my beautiful (remember my last post) readers. I hate you all and I hope you know that. I just had to state that fact before we continue.

The other day I was waiting for the bus. It was late so me and some other people waited for a long time. In a very swedish fashion they all started queuing up, even though nobody told them to (a behaviour I just can’t respect even though I do it too). When the bus finally arrived people started entering. When I was about to enter, a lady said ”We’ve been waiting for a long time and I’m freezing, can I enter before you?” I think she must have forgotten that this is Sweden during winter time.. BITCH, THE WHOLE FUCKING COUNTRY IS FREEZING, WHAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL? YOU’LL BE ON THE BUS IN LITERALLY TWO SECONDS! I got so mad that I dropkicked her right in the fucking neck. Her head exploded and ninja-cowboy-aliens appeared to feast on her flesh and I’m of course lying, let’s continue the story.

I did the only thing I could do which was happily lettin her enter before me while hiding my hatred underneath a fake smile. I’m swedish after all and that’s what we do. I thought that maybe she wanted to get a good spot in the bus or something, but she chose the shittiest spot ever. The spot reserved for parents with strollers and handicapped people in wheelchairs. How the fuck can this idiot expect me to respect queues when she doesn’t respect handicap/stroller reserved seats? IDIOT! That’s when I walked up to her and smashed her head against the window until it all broke and I threw her out of the bus and I’m lying once again.

Wait. I’ve lied twice already but they say three is the charm… Oh yes, my little puppets, this whole post has been a lie. That lady didn’t ask me to let her enter before me, she asked the guy in front of me. Thanks to her a ton of people walked on to the bus and the corner seat in the back, which is my favourite seat, became occupied and I got so ANGRY that I had to write a blogpost about and lie to all of my one readers. YES I HAVE ONE READERS, SO WHAT? IT’S ABOUT THE PASSION, NOT THE NUMBERS!

Anyway, now you know my story of how I ended up sitting somewhere else in the bus than where I usually sit. Traumatic shit.

Beautiful Is Horrible

Wazzup my beautiful readers who I hope don’t know that beautiful is actually code for horrible. I haven’t written anything in over a month. Have you missed me? I know you didn’t, that’s why I low-key called you all horrible. I guess it wasn’t that low-key since I literally wrote that you’re all horrible. That’s what’s so beautiful (horrible) about this blog, isn’t it?

So, you might wonder what I will write about today and will tell you exactly what I will write about today. I have been sick for two weeks, which is not interesting at all and I will not write about it. I just said something. I improvised and I failed. I know that I shouldn’t improvise. I will always fail at that and that is literally what I’m doing as I’m writing this. Improvising and failing.

WAIT!

I just figured out what I can write about! The school shooting thing in Florida. That wasn’t so nice. Most of the politicians reactions to it wasn’t very nice either, especially not Donny’s reaction. And Hope Hicks left Donny’s staff. She’s like the millionth one to leave him, and now Donny is Hope-less. Haha, puns.

Okay, so now I have improvised, failed, lazily mentioned the Florida school shooting and I made a pun out of someone, who is stupidly named Hope Hicks, leaving Donny’s staff. That’s enough work for one day. Well, I wish it was work but it’s not since I don’t get paid for this… Yet. Read this blog, subscribe to it down below and recommend it to ALL of your friends so that I can quit my day job and write this retarded blog instead. By doing so you’re helping me economically and therefore you can call it charity and feel like a good person even though we’ve already established that you are horrible.

Bye

Ange din e-postadress för att följa denna blogg och få meddelanden om nya inlägg via e-post.

Gör sällskap med 13 andra följare

#OPRAH2020

You have probably heard that Oprah Winfrey is allegedly considering running for president of the United States. Whether that is true or not is not exactly what I will write about. I will write about what I think about how people are reacting to this since I think it’s a very important discussion.

Look, we all know what Donald is like. He is so bad at what he does that he makes George W. Bush look pretty good. That’s how bad he is. And we got Donald right after Barack Obama, which was a huge contrast. One interesting thing about Donald though, is that he had no political experience at all. Which has, when you think about it, changed the game. Other people that has no political experience has realized that maybe they can do it too. The presidency looks more reachable, but also less serious. It’s a serious issue if people lose faith in the presidency, or for any leadership. If nobody believes in the leadership of a country for a long enough time it spells out revolution and revolutions are a gamble because nobody knows what will happen at the end of such a campaign.

On the other hand, which one is better. Oprah Winfrey or Donald ? Even though Oprah has no political experience at least she does not spread or encourage hate, polarize or lie. If she ran for president I believe she could win. Easily. She could give everybody something to believe in just by her name and that could be a cure for the polarized population of the United States. She could restore the respect for the presidency. She could encourage people to have some faith in their country again. If she did all these things, maybe that’s temporarily enough. Maybe what created Donald Trump will be his doom and the saviour of the current situation of the United States.

Still, I am worried about the whole thing. What if a bunch of unqualified celebrities suddenly run for president alongside actual politicians and one of the celebrities win? What if that celebrity does a terrible job? What if that celebrity becomes a dictator? I know these thoughts might be exaggerations, but if you think about it, two of the three things I mentioned has already happened. If the undermining of a leader position continues and grows, then who knows what it will be like in thirty years? I can only see bad outcomes. But for the urgent present, just to repair what has been broken, maybe we need someone like Oprah Winfrey.

Or do we?

Obviously, Oprah Winfrey would be a better president than Donald if you put them against each other. And a professional politician would be a better president than Oprah Winfrey if you put them against each other. We can not give in to the desperation that Donald has created and put wishful thoughts above common sense.

Politics should never be enternainment.

Ange din e-postadress för att följa denna blogg och få meddelanden om nya inlägg via e-post.

Gör sällskap med 13 andra följare

#BRINGBACKDIRKGENTLY

Frodo is a very versatile person. In the ending of The Return of the King when he left Middle-Earth he landed right in the world of a genius author called Douglas Adams who wrote one of my favourite book series, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. They call it a trilogy even though the series has six parts and just for that it’s one of the best trilogies ever. Anyway, Frodo did not go to that series. Bilbo from The Hobbit trilogy came from that series though. The people who know, they know. Anyway, Frodo went to the holistic world of Dirk Gently. I haven’t read those two books though, I’ve only seen the show on Netflix. The whole name of both the first book and the show is Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency and the name of the second book is The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul. I just love how long and annoying the titles of the works of Douglas Adams tends to be and I will for ever write their full titles. Anyway, this post will be about that show and why I love it and I will of course complain the living life out of myself about the cancellation of this genius creation. Here we go.

Why I love Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency:
I can’t explain it, just watch it.

My complaints about the cancellation of Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency:
IT’S ONE THE BEST MOTHERFUCKING SHOW I’VE EVER SEEN. MY ABSOLUTE MOST FAVOURITE SHOW IS HOUSE OF CARDS AND THEY HAVE FIVE SEASONS OUT, DIRK GENTLY’S HOLISTIC DETECTIVE AGENCY HAS TWO SEASONS OUT AND IT’S COMPETING IN TERMS OF QUALITY WITH HOUSE OF CARDS WHICH HAS MORE THAN TWICE THE AMOUNT OF EPISODES. I ALSO LOVE GAME OF THRONES BUT THAT SHOW IS NOTHING COMPARED TO DIRK GENTLY’S HOLISTIC DETECTIVE AGENCY. WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE FUCKING MY LIFE IN THE ANUS BY TAKING DIRK GENTLY’S HOLISTIC DETECTIVE AGENCY AWAY FROM ME WHEN I NEED IT SO MUCH IN MY LIFE. 2016 AND 2017 HAS BEEN THE WORST POLITICAL YEARS IN AMERICA AND EUROPE AND IT HAS BROUGHT MY ANXIETY LEVELS TO AN ALL TIME RECORD HIGH. I FUCKING NEED DIRK GENTLY’S HOLISTIC DETECTIVE AGENCY. IT’S A FUN, CONFUSING AND SO ASTOUNDINGLY UNIQUE SHOW AND IT HELPS HEALING MY SOUL AND YOU PEOPLE DON’T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I NEED HEALING RIGHT NOW.

I. AM. BREAKING. APART. WITHOUT. DIRK. GENTLY’S. HOLISTIC. DETECTIVE. AGENCY.

And to those people who might think that I could just read the books. Fuck you. I mean, I will read them. Someday. But a book can never replace a show if the show is Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency.

#BRINGBACKDIRKGENTLY

Ange din e-postadress för att följa denna blogg och få meddelanden om nya inlägg via e-post.

Gör sällskap med 13 andra följare

Burning Faggots

I need you people to understand that the word faggot used to mean firewood. It used to mean literally wood that you put in the fire as fuel. I also need you to understand that J.R.R. Tolkien, who wrote the holy scriptures The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, used the word faggot in the older definition which we now know used to mean firewood and nothing else. Can you imagine reading a sentence in The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings and a lovable character is said to throw a faggot in the fire? Actually, if I remember correctly, I think it’s only the lovable characters who throws the faggots in the fire. And there’s nothing wrong about that, I don’t even know why I’m making such fuss about throwing faggots in the fire. That’s where faggots are supposed to be.

Anyway, I’m going to listen to Frank Ocean now, he’s one of my favourite singers. Then I think I’ll watch the live version of Eminems’ classic song Stan, because this version features Elton John in the chorus and he makes the song amazing. By the way, do you know which one is my favourite character from How I Met Your Mother? It’s Barney because Neil Patrick Harris played Barney so well. I think I’ll watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother before I go to sleep.

Also, Ian McKellen is gay and I love him.

Bye.

Snakes in the Grass

Hey, Hello, Hi, What is up, When, Who, How, Where.
What a refreshing way to greet you all isn’t it? Even if it’s not I will continue to greet my readers in this way. Except that I really won’t because it’s too much work for me to do it. It’s way easier to say Hello. And it’s more fun to say Fuck Off. So my official greeting might become Fuck Off. Who knows ? I don’t. Do you? NO. Exactly. Shut up.

Today I will do something for you that’s never been done before on this little blog. Probably because it’s an extremely new blog but let’s just forget about that. In this post I will write you all a nice short story. I am a failed write so it’s an obligation to write short story stuff on a blog no-one reads–I mean that everybody reads. Anyway, here’s the story!

”The Drum That Nobody Drummed On”
By The Caveman

Once upon a time in Snakeland there was one brown drum that stood one meter tall. His name was Jameson. He had never felt like he fit in because he never got a long with the other drums. When the snakes of Snakeland drummed on him he could not resonate the right sound that so many other drums could do. Sure, it was hard for other drums too, but they always managed to practice and get the right sound. All the drums had practiced and found their sound by their twenties. Jameson was now thirty-five years old, and still he had not found his true tones. Worries began to seep into his mind and he felt desperation take hold of his every though. What could he do? All the other drums had mothers and fathers to teach them and the richer drums even had a snake mentor that could help them become professional drums. Jamesons parents had left him because they did not want to live in Snakeland anymore. They left their son a note saying ”This is Cratp and Junerah, you parents, and we hate it here in Snakeland. It’s impossible to lay in the grass on a sunny day, or any day actually, because that’s were all the treacherous mafia snakes are, you know the ones called Snakes in the Grass. They always try to sell us bananas and we always fall for it. They are just too good at manipulating us. We don’t even like bananas. Who the fuck does? Anyway, Snakes in the Grass are too powerful for us and we have no money left because of them. The reason we are leaving you behind is because you need to defeat the Snakes in the Grass so that we can come back and live in peace there. Or something. Bye!”
This only made him feel twice a failure. He could not find his right drumming sound and he could definitely not bring down the all too strong Snakes in the Grass mafia. They basically ran all of Snakeland through corruption and manipulation behind the scenes of politics. It’s a perfect system because it’s always the balloons that gets the blame.

One day Jameson met a snake who wanted to drum on him. Jameson felt worried but he thought ”Maybe this is when I find my drum sound?” and let the snake drum on him. Anyway. As the snake gently tapped his tail on top of Jameson he seemed surprised. His taps were very smooth and almost untraceable. Jameson had never encountered this kind of drumming before. All the other snakes always banged their head on top of him and slithered away feeling disappointed. This snake did the exact opposite. He was not at all rough, only used his tail and seemed satisfied. Jameson could not think of any reason why because it was the same old stupid drum sound he always generated.

”You are a very special drum. What is your name?”
”Jameson. What’s so special about me?”
”Have you ever heard about the dancing note?”
”No. What’s that?”
”It’s a note that make all the snakes have a seizure. It makes them twitch and writhe in such a way that makes it look as if they are dancing to a hardcore dubstep beat. You can find that note and destroy the Snakes in the Grass. It’s your task.”
”What? How do you know–”
”Jameson! Don’t drum fast, like the others. Drum super hard and at a slower pace. Eventually you will find your sound.”

Before Jameson could say anything more, the wise snake was gone. After this encounter Jameson went home and practiced his drumming. He tried to slow it down and drum really hard instead of going super fast like he had always done. He did this for days and days. He even forgot to go to his car job, where he pretended to a car for white people to ride through the town. On the fourth day, he drummed so hard and so slow that a new type of feeling arose within him. A fire he had never in his life felt before. Jameson wanted to fight and throw his head a round in a wild… dance. He had found the dance note! He did not know how he knew it, but this was the dance note!

That same night he went to the meadow where Snakes in the Grass had their headquarters, and he started drumming. Nothing happened. He kept going, even though it was hard to muster the strength that was needed. Suddenly, the members of Snakes in the Grass started to jump up in the air and they twitched so beautifully. The wise snake from before did not say how pretty the dance would look, but oh, how beautiful it all was. When all the snakes were dead the wise snake reappeared.

”Jameson! I am obliged to tell you what happened to your mother and father.”
”How do you know?”
”Because I know stuff, idiot. They are dead. They died years ago. And you did all this in vain. The other members of Snakes in the Grass will search for you and kill you. I don’t understand why you didn’t gather all the Snakes in the Grass in one place before doing this. You made everything worse. Thanks. I’m out. Bye!”

Jameson felt so disappointed in himself that he started drumming the super hardcore beat again. This time, he drummed so hard that he felt his soul slowly shatter. Soon, he exploded and was never again seen by any any living snake, drum, white person or balloon.