I’m eating junk food in the dark I’m crying because I don’t feel A multiplayer game is on But I don’t wanna play it anymore I need to fuck myself up Because I don’t plan on surviving An accident or a gun to the head Whichever is fine by me The spear is aged and dull And I don’t see the point I used to, but not right now
You can click play on the Spotify player if you want to hear me read this post out loud
I don’t have many followers here on WordPress and I don’t have many posts or anything like that, but I like this place. Sometimes it feels like this is my place on the internet or something. That’s something important to me because I’ve always felt more or less malplaced in this world.
I’ve tried many times to do something with this blog and it never quite worked. At first I tried to write stories here and make this some kind of storywriting blog. For some reason it did not fit me. Then I tried to be some funny blogger. It was my most successful time (successful in very small terms) but that didn’t fit me either. Then I tried to post my poems on here, but I never truly liked my poems, so I stopped. Now I’m posting my poems here again but something feels different. I like my poems more for one thing, but I also like this community more, even though I barely have a community here.
I guess that the people who like my posts now are writers that write stuff that for some reason fit me better. Or maybe I understand it better now, I don’t know. It’s just fun to read your stuff. By the way, there are some people who liked my older poems who write stuff I’ve always liked and I think they know who they are.
There are other places that might be better for me “career wise”. I don’t have a career but I feel like if I want to have one, I should be on Twitter and Instagram and Reddit, creating a following. Those places have a big reach, many users and lots of potential, but I just hate it there most of the time.
The best place to be is where you like it. Someplace you know you’ll come back to. I feel like the WordPress community might be that place for me.
This is place is full of respectable, kind and interesting people. This place does not shut down my account for no reason several times without giving any information as to why I’m being shut down or how to appeal that decision (thanks Instagram and Facebook!) This place is small, cozy, welcoming and just… a very nice place to be.
So when you like or comment on any of my posts, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you for stopping by. It warms my heart and it makes me feel at home.
During the night is when the nothingness comes There’s nobody there to be with me except the TV light Sometimes video games, sometimes a movie or a show Whatever it is, imitation of life Not life itself A TV won’t talk to you, a TV won’t touch you I guess I need those so called ‘people’ I’ve heard so much about
Here’s me reading my poem
Hope you enjoyed the poem and the reading of the poem. Stay away from those TV lights and people and everything all together and you’ll be fine, I think
Those damn bears I envy them so damn much They sleep through winter like I wanna sleep through life Or at least a few years of life I’d sleep a few years and then I’d come back to see if the world is still fucked up and if I can deal with it Otherwise; a few more years of blessed sleep I’d keep going like this until I either become happy or just… die Best I can do right now is go to sleep for twelve hours, so that’s what I’ll do
Click play to hear me read the poem
Let me know if you would like to sleep for twelve hours also, I’d love to hear about it!
I can’t go home because I know when I come home it will begin the end The moments fly into a cage of memory and there it stays and never grows anymore I’ll sit and think and I will be blind as life is being lived by someone else Moments end and life continues forth This life is moving, I can feel it moving It fucking hurts, but now I’m going home
I’m looking for answers on the internet but I only find information Religious people, they pray to their gods and they feel better I can’t pray to any of the gods to feel better I wish there was one single definite guide to life Imagine always having an answer to your every question We don’t have that and I guess that’s something kind of good But sometimes I want that stupid guide in my hands
I love to go to sleep when everybody else are beginning to wake up During the night everything shuts the fuck up That’s when I can think again And breathe Weeknights are best That’s when it’s the most quiet This is why I need to get rich So I can go to sleep in my own time And be rid of this fucking social jetlag