Rant Mode: Queuing Up

Hello my beautiful (remember my last post) readers. I hate you all and I hope you know that. I just had to state that fact before we continue.

The other day I was waiting for the bus. It was late so me and some other people waited for a long time. In a very swedish fashion they all started queuing up, even though nobody told them to (a behaviour I just can’t respect even though I do it too). When the bus finally arrived people started entering. When I was about to enter, a lady said ”We’ve been waiting for a long time and I’m freezing, can I enter before you?” I think she must have forgotten that this is Sweden during winter time.. BITCH, THE WHOLE FUCKING COUNTRY IS FREEZING, WHAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL? YOU’LL BE ON THE BUS IN LITERALLY TWO SECONDS! I got so mad that I dropkicked her right in the fucking neck. Her head exploded and ninja-cowboy-aliens appeared to feast on her flesh and I’m of course lying, let’s continue the story.

I did the only thing I could do which was happily lettin her enter before me while hiding my hatred underneath a fake smile. I’m swedish after all and that’s what we do. I thought that maybe she wanted to get a good spot in the bus or something, but she chose the shittiest spot ever. The spot reserved for parents with strollers and handicapped people in wheelchairs. How the fuck can this idiot expect me to respect queues when she doesn’t respect handicap/stroller reserved seats? IDIOT! That’s when I walked up to her and smashed her head against the window until it all broke and I threw her out of the bus and I’m lying once again.

Wait. I’ve lied twice already but they say three is the charm… Oh yes, my little puppets, this whole post has been a lie. That lady didn’t ask me to let her enter before me, she asked the guy in front of me. Thanks to her a ton of people walked on to the bus and the corner seat in the back, which is my favourite seat, became occupied and I got so ANGRY that I had to write a blogpost about and lie to all of my one readers. YES I HAVE ONE READERS, SO WHAT? IT’S ABOUT THE PASSION, NOT THE NUMBERS!

Anyway, now you know my story of how I ended up sitting somewhere else in the bus than where I usually sit. Traumatic shit.